I've sprung a leak

I have a confession to make:  sometimes, at the oddest times (and many times, at the most inopportune times!), I spring a leak.  Maybe not the leak you are thinking of, but I spring a leak.

I have what I consider the gift of tears.  I know that there are times in my life that people choose to stand on the other side of the room from me, because they know that the event we are at will cause me to start crying.

There are other times -- what I consider "normal" times -- that I can be in normal conversation, and my eyes will start leaking.

I had just that experience tonight.  I was dropping off our daughter, Emily, to stay with Sarah for the balance of the weekend at the University of Dayton for Little Sibs weekend.  Becca was able to go down on Friday with two of her cousins, but work and drama club prevented Emily from travelling until this evening.

We made a plan to meet out for dinner.  What I thought was going to be a "quiet" supper for 7, ended up being a little larger -- 10 to be exact.  The cousins were there, plus another cousin (Jean), and two of their friends, who were also in town to celebrate Little Sibs weekend (but whom had no larger sibs present -- still a mystery to me :)

We stopped to pick up Becca and Sarah from UD.  Now, let me tell you that it was Saturday night around 7 pm when we were picking them up.  I really hadn't considered the life of a college student very well, I guess, because I hadn't really thought of what "activities" we might see on our way in, passing by the apartments and such.  I did ask Abby to cover her eyes when I noticed a young man on one front porch wearing nothing but a button down shirt (which was unbuttoned) and underwear.  That's all.  Oh, he was holding a Red Solo Cup (and probably singing the song of the same name -- although we wouldn't know because I didn't have the courage to roll down the windows.  LOL

As we approached the dorm, aside from the shock I was still in, I was rolling some words around in my brain that I'm not quite ready for.  "Picking Becca up from college" doesn't work quite yet for me.  (She's a freshman in high school if you don't know her personally.)  I had heard she had fun on Friday evening, so I was anxious to hear what stories she had to tell (or maybe more specifically what stories she had that she would actually tell her mother!).  She had some fun ones, but, in an effort to hear more from her sometimes, I will refrain from repeating them here.  Let it suffice to say that she had good clean fun.

We drove a few miles to meet up with the others at a local Chipotle.  My first thought upon entering this restaurant was that I was the oldest in there by a mile, and, conversely, Abby was the youngest in there by a mile!  Agh, the fun of being the "mom". 

This was them there (it would be "us" but someone had to take the picture!  :)

Shortly after this picture is when I sprung my leak.  It was time for Abby and I to go home, and leave the girls to their fun.  I want you to understand that it certainly wasn't that I didn't want them to have fun.  Anyone who knows me, knows I appreciate fun.  :)

It was just that I suddenly realized that sooner (much sooner, I'm afraid, than I'm ready for!) than later, this will be my life.  I will be "visiting" with my children instead of "living" with them.  I've been really ok with Sarah being gone this year, as I think I will be with all of them, when they are at a place that they love, living the life they want, doing the things they dream of. 

And, when the time comes, I'll be ok with it for Emily, and Becca, and eventually, Abby, Harry, and Will.

But for now, I'm going to continue to recite the poem that has been swirling around in my head for the past few weeks.  I'm not really sure why (or how!) I came across it again, but it certainly rings true for me this weekend!

Cleaning And Scrubbing
Can Wait
Till Tomorrow...

For Babies Grow Up
We've Learned
To Our Sorrow...

So Quiet Down
Cobwebs...
Dust Go To
Sleep...

I'm Rocking
My Baby,
And Babies
Don't Keep.

(And, I guess when they are grown, I will have to stop blaming my weight on "baby fat".  Until then, though.....that's what it is!)